Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.
I John 4:18 a NLT
I was struggling. I had taken on every challenge and assignment, gotten every degree and credential my employer asked me to. Yet when my boss called me with the news that my assignment would be changing the next fall, I knew deep in my soul that I needed to say no and step away.
I prayed. I studied James three about true wisdom being submissive. I cried. I wrestled with what to do. But I was afraid. How would we pay the bills? I thought I had been acting in obedience when I continued my education. So why, after all that I had put into my career, would God be asking me to leave it behind? Was I having a lack of peace, or was I being discontent?
Looking back, I can honestly say I acted out of fear rather than faith. My husband and I have always said, our paychecks come from the Lord not from man. But when that statement was tested, I kind of freaked out. I chose to keep receiving that paycheck rather than believe that God would provide as He has promised in Philippians 4:19. “My God shall supply all my needs…”
Miserable does not even describe the ten or so weeks I lasted in that assignment. I went in every morning prayed up, and by noon, I was trying to figure out how to word my resignation. I was being held captive by my fear rather than experiencing the freedom my faith in God’s provision would bring.
Out of desperation one morning, I prayed a gutsy prayer. I prayed, “Lord, you know my heart. You feel the pain I am experiencing. If you want me to continue on this course, I will. But I am weak. Please take this cup from me; not my will, but yours be done.” By the afternoon, He was picking me up out of the mirey pit and placing my feet on solid ground.
“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
It was one of the most excruciating experiences of my life. It was frustrating. It was humiliating.
And it was freeing.
I realized that I was staying where I was clearly not supposed to be. I was acting out of fear rather than faith. It’s easy to see that now. I don’t know that I had the courage to take the leap of faith I needed to. But I realize now, one of the reasons the Lord allows us to go through those tough seasons is so that next time, we can step out in faith, allowing the perfect love of our Father, who promises to take care of us, cast out the fear. (I John 4:18)
Sometimes, faith pushing out fear looks like we are being pushed right over a cliff. It seems like we are being asked to make impossible or irrational decisions. Courage may evade us; we are afraid to take the leap of faith, and sometimes God gives us a nudge which leaves us freefalling into His arms. He asks us to trust Him. He tells us that he cares for us and will provide all our needs, for His glory. (Philippians 4:19)
“It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in people.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.”
God is still showing me His path day by day. He has proven Himself a generous father repeatedly, but I have not achieved perfect faith. My daily prayer is that I would act out of faith over fear. There is such freedom in trusting in the Creator of the Universe to care for my needs rather than my own paycheck, accomplishments, degrees, and credentials. Building faith is a project that has a beginning but has no end.
Like a baby learning to walk, we are constantly being challenged to take another step, growing in strength and confidence with every move.
Where do you need to have more faith? Is it family life, work life, church/ministry, or do you need to just take faith at face value and believe that God loves you and sent His son to be your Savior? Ask Him today to help you understand how deep and wide His love is for you and that he can do abundantly above more than you ask or think.
Dear Lord, Please instill in my heart the understanding of your love for me. Help me to trust that your plans are far better than mine and that you have given me the measure of faith to act upon. Thank you for being the author of faith and not of fear. Amen
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